“You could search the whole world and never find anyone as deserving of your love as yourself.”
-Buddha
In the past,
Whenever I got a glimpse of there being a “special connection” with another human being,
I would become almost immediately attached.
Suddenly my whole world revolved around the possibility of a special relationship with some “special person.”
I would feel the love and I would fall in love.
Damn Walt Disney, planting the idea of there being a knight in shining armor waiting to whisk us away into the sunset…
But what if those love feelings we all get are actually indicating something else?
What if those feelings don’t have to mean longterm, committed relationship?
What if it’s not even up to us to know…
Until/unless we really know?
Like everyone always says:
“You know when you know!”
What if we didn’t always assume romance?
What if those feelings felt are really just indicating a new:
Client
Friend
Business partner
Teacher
Student
What might become possible then?
To be clear,
Nobody has to dig deep into this stuff.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with experiencing a feeling, allowing yourself to just surrender to that feeling and acting unconsciously on it.
What I’m proposing, however, is that:
If you CHOOSE to explore WHY you might feel the way you feel,
- You could save yourself a hell of a lot of time, money, grief…
- You could stay grounded and focused on your own personal goals and your own personal path, work, desires and get there/reach them so much faster!
- You could begin to up level your life big time, open yourself up to more opportunity, more love, more connection, and more fulfillment.
I don’t know about you, but I like more and I like not wasting time!
Only one life to live, you know?
What if the goal in life changes from “finding love in another,”
To falling madly, deeply, and hopelessly in love with yourself first?
Imagine getting so deeply connected with yourself and your path and your passions that when someone else does come in, you won’t fall prey to losing parts of yourself that are longing to and need to exist in order for you to feel happy longterm.
Wouldn’t that be something?
Here’s an excellent Ted Talk about marrying yourself that made a big difference for me.
(Shoutout to my friend Mary for introducing me to these excellent resources!)
Lately, I’ve been practicing what Tracy suggests in this video:
Simply noticing:
- How do I feel when I’m in the space of another human being?
- Do I feel open, expansive, alive, and fully self-expressed?
- Or do I feel kinda flat and unenthused and just kinda neutral?
I’ve been letting go of evaluating the “good” and “bad” parts of who I’m sitting across from, and placing the focus on me and my energy.
How do I feel?
What I’ve found is that there are a LOT of REALLY great people that I admire and love and respect,
BUT if I don’t feel INCREDIBLE and still so grounded in myself and in my purpose and in my path while in their space,
If I’m sacrificing any parts of me by being with them,
I am accepting pretty quickly that that person is probably not more than an acquaintance or a friend.
It’s been really cool to play with and practice.
And so far, it’s saving me a lot of extra thinking about if I should consider liking them as more than a friend or not.
A constant curiosity and evaluation of feelings AND consciousness.
I’ll take that cocktail any day.. 😉
So now it’s your turn!
- What are you taking away?
- Have you tried any of this?
- Any wisdom you want to share?
You don’t have to agree with everything or anything I say.
Just take what you like and leave the rest!
Leave me a comment!
What’s here for you?