But lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by my feelings of love…even, out of control.
Maybe it’s the holidays being so much about love, and giving, and family,
Or maybe it’s the fact that I let go of my job and so I’m clinging onto my loved ones for dear life!!
Either way, this feeling is definitely, definitely here.
And the guy who gets the brunt of it?
My boyfriend, AKA my soul-sucker, Lee!
I say soul-sucker because it literally feels like there is an energetic pull on my heart that is ATTACHED to my lover.
This is why they call it “longing” for someone (in my mind), because it just feels like this cord is just getting longer and longer whenever he moves further away from me, causing me more and more pain.
Do you ever feel this??
I expressed this to him the other day, that no matter what I do, I just feel like I can’t get enough OF him, FROM him, or FOR him!
I can’t hang out with him long enough,
Going out on a date together doesn’t feel like enough,
Living with him and seeing his face every single day isn’t enough for crying out loud!!
It’s something I’m working on.
Because it doesn’t feel healthy.
I can feel it right now, in my heart. Like a sadness that I will never get to fully express how deep my love for him goes.
It’s impeding on my freedom, my work, my life.
So how do I release this?
My initial thought today went to–I gotta break up with him! That’s the surest way to cut the cord!
Well, that thought lasted about as long as it took me say it in my head, as our relationship is wayyy beyond just backing out, and it’s definitely not what I truly want!
So what DO I truly want?
I truly want deep connection, not only with Lee, but with so many beautiful, loving beings of light.
I want to reveal my soul to others, and have them feel safe to reveal theirs to me.
Why do I want this?
I see EVERY human being as a reflection of God, a reflection of creation. It definitely goes back to my old Catholic school-day teachings of the fact that “everyone/everything is God.” I really feel this way…about EVERYONE.
I guess what I am really longing for is a closer connection to God–a closer connection to you.
People connect with plants, animals, things…but what I most enjoy connecting with is other people.
This is why my life has led me to do and to desperately love one-on-one coaching. To connect. With you, and with God.
I mean, I can’t say I remember meeting God or being with God, but there have definitely been times in my life where I’ve felt I’ve gotten a taste. And it tasted pretty freakin’ good!
I’ve learned that following your bliss is the only responsibility you have in order to live the life of your dreams. God, the universe, takes care of the rest as only your Faith allows.
So thanks to this post, thanks to YOU, my answer is that I need to do MORE soul-connecting, MORE loving with MORE people. Maybe as my heart continues to touch the hearts of many others, it will become easier for me to feel fulfilled. I’m sure my boyfriend would appreciate a nickname other than soul-sucker! 😉 BLESS HIS FREAKING HEART!!
Hey, who knows, maybe I’ll get to connect with YOU now!–My mysterious reader who is FINALLY ready to actually LET GO of that something in your life that’s bringing you down 😉
If connecting with me DOES seem appealing, I just started a Women’s Inner Peace and Empowerment Group on Facebook where support and love can be shared among amazing women in order to achieve inner peace and feel empowered. It is a closed group, so ask me to be invited if you are interested.
Another great way to stay connected is by entering your name and email address in the yellow box on the right side of this page so you can get free stuff and updates on my new posts.
And of course, one-on-one coaching/hypnosis is always available.
Cheers to you, to me, and to God!